Ugh.. It turns out I need to a do medical check for my visa. I really pray that this all goes by without unnecessary issues. I understand migration is a complex thing and I need to be on top of everything I can be.. though I'm starting to realize that this may not be enough. I have yet to find a sustainable source of income though I'm not even eligible to work on my current visa. Ahh going back to Malaysia would be a waking nightmare reborn.. migration to ANYWHERE if its ANYTHING like this is just another waking nightmare. Just being bounced from one nightmare to another. No place I can really call home.. except the ether. The kingdom of the lord. That's the only place I can really call home.

Funny enough, on my Malaysian passport, it says on the first page that I'm not allowed to travel to Israel. I think it has something to do with Palestine. Interestingly, I looked into the meaning on the word and wound up on the word "philistine" a person who is hostile or indifferent to the arts. The word was used to refer to the brutish and warlike Palestinians. Ok then. 

I dont even speak Punjabi. Which is supposed to be the language of my people. I don't really know what my people are anymore. I'm hearing lots of stories about the truth and.. the more I know it seems the more I don't know.

So, I got baptized in 2017. Yes, Jesus is the king. Though.. he wasn't a Christian and so neither am I.
I've been only recently introduced to just what it is Jewish people are and why Hitler went ape shit on them. Being young and born in Malaysia.. they didn't really.. tell us anything about them. Totally went over my head that stuff did. Now I'm initiated, I'm not even allowed to travel to historic sites because of my place of birth? A place that I remember only for negligence, violence, indifference, corruption, marginalization, oppression, incelibacy, isolation, depression, false love.. good food..? kind of..? I mean everything is deep-fried and health and safety standards there are arbitrary to a certain extent so it's actually technically hardly ever good to eat out.. the ques.. the bureaucracy.. the endless traffic jams.. never finding parking for hours.. being double-triple parked on.. poor people are super nice and rich people are constantly looking for dirt on you to hold you accountable for whatever nefarious needs they may have. The only solace I found was in the ether. Playing video games for hours on end. Being whoever, in whatever mystical land, going on missions, solving problems, making the world a better place.. but then also going ape shit and going on a murderous rampage. Such cathartic pleasure. I had resigned to a life of depraved and disgusting behavior until the Lord came to me with the apocalypse in 2012. I wont try to convince you or explain my beliefs.. all I know is that I am just a muppet in a play so elaborate it needed something like that. It looks like I may have to write a book.. :( I don't like remembering these things.. I miss having someone to hold.. I don't know whats going to happen to me next.. will I be forced back.. Great human migrations are the basis of the Bible.. especially when its in regards to people leaving tyrannical warlike governments.. seeing the way Australia has responded in this day and age.. gives me little hope for my own plight..


A place of birth that wasn't where my people originated from - because they themselves were taking refuge from the war in India. A place away from a home that I can't really call mine.. I didn't choose. A place that if I were to live in it long enough would see me become a nightmare. It's likely that going back there might turn me into a martyr. It seems that staying here in Australia is an opportunity to see me become something great. At the same time, it's not really up to me because.. I don't have any money, neither have I been able to get and keep solid work.

The Lord asks me to stay clear from the pursuit of money. To keep close to my heart the knowledge that he has a plan. Whats more.. he is also saying that I should relax.

More another day! Love you